Addiction
Oct 30
It’s been a week-and-a-half; maybe 2 weeks, I can’t even remember anymore. All I know is I have nothing. I’ve been without for all this time and it seems like months. I can feel them, smell them. It’s all I think about. How will I get more? I need them. Without them I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to fall asleep, but I can’t. My thoughts always go back to them. They should be sitting next to the bed, on my stack of still untouched overwhelming voter information, almost touching the lamp so I can reach out and feel them there without leaning over in bed.
They take me away. Reality doesn’t exist with them. I get to go somewhere else; somewhere nobody else can go. Only I can see there and only I can hear. They take away the stress of my day, the anxiety of parenting. They close my day and my eyes.
I need them. How will I get them? I have no time. I go from one place to another – so many responsibilities. By the time I have the time there is no time and I have to wait. Another day of hoping, wondering, obsessing. Will it be today? Will I get my escape? Will what I want be available or will I have to get something second-best? What if they’re no good? What if they don’t work? If I don’t like them that means more waiting for the good ones.
I actually do research. You can, you know. You can see what works for others. You just have to know where to look, and I do. I know many places. There are also people I can ask – and I do. It’s not really a secret. Everything is out there in the open for all to learn about. The choices? Oh they are practically endless. It’s part of the thrill, really, choosing which ones I want. They have to be strong. They have to grab hold of me and not let go until it’s all I can do to place the marker, close the book, and put it aside before my eyes close.
I too am addicted!
I guess it’s genetic.
Awesomesauce you are. (Don’t I sound like Yoda?)
Have you read “Wild” by Cherly Strayed? I highly recommend it!
I could not out it down. Now I’m onto her other book, “Tiny Beautiful Things”.
NOTED ON MY PHONE AND CHECKING THE LIBRARY NOW!!! Thank you my friend!!!! I actually saw that on Amazon and was curious. Now that I know it’s good it’s probably not at the library and I will hate you forever, but I’ll try!!!
The worst thing is when you finish a really good book and everything after doesn’t compare. I hate when writers think they’re all that – just write a good story, dammit! Hope you find a good one soon.
Haha! Yes! I totally get it. I’m headed to the library today, tomorrow or for SURE Friday.
I thought this was about junior mints at first.
My work here is done. Actually, when I got some this past weekend they weren’t that great and they made my tummy hurt.
I totally thought it was about Junior Mints, too. I was reading and nodding thinking, “I am the exact same way with ice cream.” Boy did I feel like a loser when I realized you were talking about books. Uh. Yeah. I read, too. Um. Once, at least.
This was excellent. And I am off to check out Wild….