Gaining
Oct 08
As most of you know, I work from home. As most of you also know I primarily wear jammies and then work-out gear and then jammies again after my shower. Not very exciting, I know, but it’s the way my life works for me. On my weekends I have 6 or 8 cute t-shirts that I rotate and 3 pairs of long shorts. I also have a pair of black flip-flops that I wear most of the time and a cuter pair that I wear occasionally, or when I wear one of my 3 summer dresses. I have two pair of non brand jeans and one pair of nice black pants.
It’s time to make a change and add a bit to my wardrobe. I can’t consult on a Scentsy party in the dead of winter where it’s like 60 degrees in a pair of shorts and a really cute t-shirt with some black flip-flops. Hot Joe agreed to take me shopping last night.
With knowledge he didn’t have, I told him I really just wanted a couple of nice blouses and a nice pair of shoes to go with my black pants and we could buy more pants later. He didn’t agree with me and headed straight for the pants, knowing my size.
Dreading what came next I took about six pair into the dressing room, tried on four, got dressed and handed all six to the attendant. I walked out of the dressing room with what I knew was not a happy face and Hot Joe held his hand palms up and asked, “What happened?”
“They don’t fit. I’ve gained weight.” I so did not want to tell him that.
“Oh. Well you have been eating-“
I cut him off right there. I could NOT handle a speech about what I’m eating. Or even a sentence. “I really don’t want to talk about it Joe.” The thing is, he has no idea what I’ve been eating. He doesn’t know that I often will grab a bag of crackers or cookies from Noah’s school lunch bin and shove the wrapper down under everything else in the trash can. He doesn’t realize every single time I go to Target or CVS I pick up a Peppermint Patty. He has no clue that my lunch of choice is often peanut butter and jelly (heavy on both) with a bag of chips and a diet soda or an ice tea heavy on the sweetener. He’s never seen me take Luke out at 3 a.m. and swing by the fridge for a glass of juice.
I’m not out of shape. I walk and I run 4 or 5 times a week. I have great cardiovascular health, but it’s all for naught if I’m going to eat like shit.
Yesterday I read some article about this lady who cut out all gluten, dairy and refined sugar and flour has never been so healthy! Gluten free is the newest “thing.” Why can’t everyone just say, “I don’t eat dairy and I eat predominantly fruits, vegetables and protein?” Isn’t that always the way it’s supposed to be? Cut out the breads and sugars. I looked up what ‘refined’ sugar is and it’s basically sugar. Anything with added sugar. Okay, duh. I haven’t had dairy in several months. No more beloved yogurts frozen for me each night as a nonfat dessert. No more glasses of milk with dinner. Instead I drink almond milk, which kinda makes me like all of those gluten people I guess.
Cereal has refined sugar, even multi-grain Cheerios. Well fuck me, oatmeal it is (which I happen to love – just more work), only with honey instead of brown sugar. We always have apples, bananas, grapes and whatever else Hot Joe brings home. Why am I not snacking on those? I do. Sometimes. I guess I’ll have to do it more.
You want to know awkward? Weighing more than your husband.
Before I end this with that witty remark, because I don’t have the ability to turn off comments I didn’t write this as a “woe is me.” I didn’t write this so people could say, “Don’t worry about it, you’ll lose it again!” I don’t want lectures, I don’t want pick-me-ups and I don’t want, “You’re beautiful the way you are.” I just wanted to tell the truth. Put it out there that clearly I have a problem. I like the sweet stuff and when I can’t have it I think about it a lot. I really want Jr. Mints. I want to bake cookies and a pie and some pumpkin bread with chocolate chips. That’s not to say I don’t like the other stuff either, but sweets are my downfall. I just like to tell my life like it is and I don’t want my bloggy friends to have the wrong idea that I’m 5’8”, 145 pounds and wear a size 6, so if we run into each other (some of us actually live quite close!), please don’t cover your mouth in shock and shout, “Holy shit YOU’RE FAT!!”
Because I already know. I’m on it.
Yes, brussel sprouts.
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Brussels-Sprout-Hash-with-Caramelized-Shallots-240411
You’ll never look back.
Okay…I’m interested. It looks yummy. I have printed the recipe and I will be handing it to the cook (aka Hot Joe). He is a HUGE brussel sprout fan.
Thank you Julie.
I’d be too busy being excited about finally meeting you to worry about your weight.
Promise me you won’t cut out wine.
Ummm…I’m gonna have to cut out wine. Just for a while. I need to get clean first. Don’t break up with me.
Thanks for sharing, girlie. You’re on it! And I like it! I’ll only say if you are curious about the gluten/dairy free lifestyle, ask away. I’ve been doing it since June.
Stay tuned for an email from me. I’m curious. And thank you!
We are so alike is so many ways- blogging, reading, transcribing, loving wine, gaining weight, dogs, cats, kids, on and on and on! I have put on an extra 25 pounds and blame the start of menopause and wine! I can’t help either! I continually exercise, walk and really don’t binge, rather I eat super healthy. So, embrace the fact that real men love “curvy girls” and we are blessed to work in our jammies from home! =)
I got the chills reading this!!!!!
I have a terrible sweet tooth and can never pass up some German chocolate or a bag of Twizzlers. I walk/run and bike 5 days a week and try to throw in some Pilates bit like you I have an issue with eating “crap”… Oh well, i enjoy it and will continue to. It is what it is. Good luck to you.
I took my little dog to the vet, who said, “He can’t gain any weight.” I responded, “But he runs like 5 days a week!” The vet said, he can run all day but he’s eating too much.
Touche.
I’m swearing it off completely temporarily and then I’ll let the fun back in, in moderation. Meanwhile, I’m miserable.
I came, I read, and I shook my head. I can relate. My eating habits are horrid. And, when I go to the grocery store, I always buy a “Big Grab” of Doritos and shove them down before I get home. (It’s a 5 mile drive.) Then I do my best to cover up the evidence. Yep. Not proud. I’m aware of it. And well, that’s where I am right now.
Thanks for telling me. I feel less alone! He still doesn’t know because as of 7:47 pm he hasn’t read this blog. I’m kinda scared.
I also have a sweet tooth. So when I decided to lose at the beginning of last year, I had to work out a way to get around that. But I can’t live without sweet snacks. (Not happily, anyway.) So I cut down on quanitity rather than cutting things out all together.
I found it was possible for me to eat 1 cookie rather than half a dozen (or a whole packet). I discovered that fresh dates are even more delicious than date cookies. I realised one fresh date every couple of hours was better than six at once — and then I realised I kept forgetting to get the next one after a couple of hours.
Oh, and when things get really desperate in the middle of the night and I’m craving that sugar fix like you wouldn’t believe? Rather than eating a sweetened snack, I secretly tiptoe out to the kitchn, pull a teaspoon out of the door and eat a whole teaspoon of raw sugar. Mmmm….
All of which is not me telling you what YOU should do, but just sharing a few things that worked for me.
Fantastic amazing suggestions. Dates is on the next grocery list. Today I craved and I had a bit of honey (unrefined!!!). I figured I’d cut it out to start and bring it back moderately.
Very brave blog Kimmy. I am proud of you as always.
Et tu, Kim? Et tu? Okay, okay – when it comes to gauging front butt, I squeezed mine and at it’s biggest I saw Zuki at 6 years. Now it’s down to Samu at 3 years. But “gluten free”? Not from the beers on my chinny-chin-chin. That’s not to discourage you or nuthin’ but you deserve to give yourself more credit. Good luck with it anyway!
Oh I won’t be doing the gluten free part. That’s just too much thinking.
Kim – don’t roll your eyes. Do a cleanse. Seriously, I felt so damn good that week I did the cleanse. The important thing was no dairy, no meat, no alcohol or caffeine for a week. A green smoothie every day. All my feeling like shit problems went away in the end. Of course I am back eating and drinking stuff I probably shouldn’t, and I feel gassy and bloated, but I learned a lot from that week. You are probably addicted to sugar. If you want more info., I have it.