I Win!

Yesterday a bit of coolness happened to me.  I was working tirelessly, typing frantically while trying to interpret what the mumbling, chewing, foreign, ummming doctors were whispering into my ear, when I received a text message.  I glanced at my phone and saw it was a number rather than a name, which piqued my interest because below the number I saw the words, “Hi Kim,” indicating it was someone who knew me.  I removed my headphones (because reading a text is easier that way – I also turn down the radio when looking for a house), opened the text and was a bit shocked.  It was from someone I no longer associate with asking me for a favor.  I put the phone down and went back to work, needing to absorb the text.  I finished the job and forwarded the text to Hot Joe just for shits and giggles, knowing what his response would be.  Then I sent it to Bridget.  I knew what my family would say.  I knew how my best friend would respond.  I knew what Lenore would say.  Bridget was my wild card.  She’s a stay-at-home mother of four and army wife who’s smart and snarky and real and normal.  I was very curious about her reaction.  Meanwhile, a second text came through with an excuse as to why I should grant the favor.

As per my assumption, Hot Joe’s response was fuck no, fuck that.  Bridget’s was more logical.  After the initial, “absofuckinglutely not” she cited the reasons.  I swear, I breathed a sigh of relief.   Always being right and appropriate I so badly wanted to respond with anger and let my feelings be known.

So I did.

And I started with, “absofuckinglutely not.”  I counted, and my response had 5 fucks including the first word.  I have an iPhone and the text was not received from an iPhone.  I assume it was 4 pages long.  I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulder and a pressure released from my chest.  I smiled.  It felt so good.

Sometime later I received a return text that lost it’s niceness and also included a blatant misspelling of now (know), which so totally grates my nerves.  The response was sarcastic, thanking me for giving over the power, essentially.  Apparently my words were interpreted as, “I need you.”  I was bugged but I knew to respond would be playing the game and likely dragging it out and I’m over that.  I’m not there anymore.  I’m in happyland, even if it doesn’t currently include Jr. Mints or Multi-Grain Cheerios.  So I left it.

For 2 hours, after which I responded, “Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!  Hilarious!”

And with that, the power was returned to me and I got the last word.

Life is good.  I have Hot Joe, beautiful sweet Noah, a supportive family, friends in the real world and bloggyland, the best pups and kitty ever to roam the earth and I’m sitting on new couches.

And I got the last word.