When I was 13 I was Young
Sep 25
So not me.
As most of you know, one of my downfalls of motherhood is I have a mouth like a sailor. I can’t help it. I curse. I don’t do it around other peoples’ kids and I don’t do it all willy-nilly at the grocery store, but I do curse. A lot. Noah knows what’s good for the goose is not good for the gander, but I don’t doubt that he curses when he is with his friends. You know how I know? Because I did and my mother is NOT a curser. I’ve heard neighborhood kids cursing, but I’ve never heard Noah. I’ve even heard one neighborhood kid being cursed AT by her mother, in the form of, “You little bitch.” Wowser, right? I am fully aware that Noah gets around his friends and everyone’s all “fuck this and fuck that and shit damn bitch.” I’m a mom, I’m not stupid. When I was 13, though, you would have never caught me cursing on my Facebook account or Instagramming pictures of myself making myself look like 17-year-old model in some pictures and a low-paid hooker in others. As a matter of fact, I looked over Noah’s shoulder at a chat conversation he was having with two boys, and when I saw him type “Fuck” I calmly took the computer away from him, closed the chat, and put him on hiatus from Facebook. That was many, many months ago. He hasn’t even asked about it.
Last night I was looking at his Instagram and I came across two pictures of him:
Seriously, the boy cannot take a self-portrait. For the record, he normally looks like this:
I started looking at his friends’ Instagrams; specifically the girls. Holy wow. Apparently none of these girls have parents. None of these girls’ parents, if they exist, are at all involved in their daughters’ lives or they’d be commenting and liking their daughters’ pictures. Oh wait, I misspoke. They’d be closing the Instagram account, removing the app from the phone and following their friends’ accounts closely to ensure their daughter never showed up in any pictures. I was mortified by what I saw. I said nothing to Noah, because it has nothing to do with him and I didn’t want him to freak that I would tell the parents, which I won’t, but for fuck’s sake parents – PAY ATTENTION.
These girls are taking pictures of girl-on-girl poses. There are hand gestures that you don’t usually see girls making. There is a 12-year-old in a halter top taking a picture of herself from above. Only her duck lips are showing and her boobs look bigger than they are and her entire belly is showing and she is wearing something covering her crotch but I’m sure not her ass.
There is a 13-year-old whose Instaname is Sexy something. Imagine if her father realized his baby girl was calling herself Sexy.
Most of the girls say, “My name is such and such and I probably hate you.” What?
I know I’m not the only parent who stalks my child. Hot Joe stalks him, my next door neighbor stalks her kids, my sister stalks Wyatt only to find that there’s nothing to stalk. He doesn’t text or Instagram and he isn’t allowed on Facebook. I don’t profess to be a perfect parent, but I pretty much always know what’s going on with my kid. I stay in touch with all teachers, I check his grades daily, I talk to his friends’ parents and I always know where he is. Because I stalk him. Some parents need to stalk their kids more just to see how they’re spelling stuff! Seriously, we’ve got some over-sexed, dirty-mouthed stupid kids out there while their parents are doing – what?
Seriously, what?
Good job Daughter. I think I would have a hard time not letting the parents know what kind of pictures their daughters are posting. I could be dangerous.
I learned from YOU that most parents are in denial. Not MY daughter. So what’s the point? As long as Noah is educated and watched over – as a team – we have to hope for the best.
Terrifying. That’s why my kids and I made the deal that they’d stay little.
Good luck. We had a deal that Noah would skip the teen years, and…
Goodness! I not only stalk my niece (my kid doesn’t have FB/Twitter/an on-line presence yet), but I stalk all my daughter’s friends. It takes a village. I’d expect another mom to help watch out for my kid too. You’re doing the right thing by following him. The internet is forever. Kids don’t have the concept of that. Heck, even a lot of adults don’t seem to get that!
Facebook is proof of that (shaking head)
The internet is dangerous. Fun and exciting, but dangerous. You know, like many things that should be reserved for adults only.
I agree. Luckily with my stalking and the help of stalking Hot Joe we are more than aware that Noah spends his entire time on building his empire on one site only. And for a limited amount of time per day. Then he has to read.
I agree, lucky Hot Joe and I stalk Noah daily and know that he is on one site only where he builds his empire – night clubs, FBI, CIA, stores, whatever. He has a limited amount of time each day followed by reading and the computer does NOT leave the living room.
Girls these days really scare me. If either of my guys said they were gay, I’d kinda be relieved.
I keep reassuring Noah, “It’s oka if you are!!” Then he gets all mad. Whatever.
Kim- It is good that you stalk Noah, you are a good parent. Now, I have had my share of experience on the internet and even in my 20′s, my Mom was concerned about my chatting with men and meeting them. I think it might be important that you share with these girls parents what kind of pictures they are posting on instagram, facebook or whoever they might be chatting with. There is to many abductions happening in this world and I would hate to see something happen to one of those girls when I know I could have done something and didn’t And to answer your question about where are those girls parents, heck, they are probably on their ipad, iphone, facebook, or gaming site on the computer.
True, Michelle, their parents probably are all wrapped up in their own stuff to notice but in my experience they don’t listen when they’re told what their kids are doing. Heck, some of them just don’t CARE about the photos. It’s sad. We are so lucky we have boys – you, me and Beth. Yay us!!! And we’re lucky we stopped while we were ahead.
Kids are rotten. They hide that stuff from their parents. I have to believe if most parents knew what their kids were up to, they’d lose their minds.
The thing is, a coupla girls, their mothers should know better having been there.
—Sometimes I don’t even want to know.
Seriously….I freak out.
Hahaha! I know. Oy.